cant quite put my finger on it...

things are weird lately.. cause everything is going good for once!! its nice to not have to worry about everything alll the damn time.. things are falling into place. It makes me happy! I wish me and Trav had more alone time. we need it for many reasons. im thankful for him tho. he makes me super happy. It has been a crazy 3 years.. <3 I love Travis! the weekend was a good one.. lazy but still good. Zane is a crazy happy kid and getting soo dang big it makes me sad..he is getting so smart and starting to talk even tho i think im the only one that understands what he is saying. but he still talks so its cute! i love him so much! We got his Pictures done and they are so dang adorable ill post some when i get them.. It has also been a full week since the first day of spring and it is still sooo dang chilly out.. the wind kills the nice sunny days.. over the weekend it rained.. alot.. i hate it.. boo. well im being sent home early from work.. soo seee ya soon! buhhhbye. oooh ps.. i cut my hair.. offf.

wow.

How lucky am I? my boy got me and Ipad.. thats so coool!! now ill always be a hermit...
byeee.

JOY!

My baby Nephew Kaesen Russell Brown Was Born March 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm he was 6 pounds and 21 inches!! He is just the sweetest lil thing! I have not got the chance to hold him yet but i so cannot wait untill i get to! Mommy was just so worn out by the time i came to see them! So I let them both get some rest I love you Calli you did such a great job cookin up baby Kaesen, Zanes new Best Friend!! xoxox.

how i feel...

I've left Bethlehem
and I feel free...
I've left the girl I was supposed to be
and some day I'll be born.
~Paula Cole



its about here i can feel it in my bones.

yay.

I cannot wait for the warm sunshine hittin my skin

warming my body and my mind

all the great things spring has to offer is wonderful

*flowers

*sunshine

*warmth

*yard work

*chasing zane outside

*summer inching closer!

*bbqs

*shorts/tanks

*flipflops

*drumcircle

*ice cream man

the list goes on and on

i cannot wait!

so i have been working at Mrs. Fields Gifts for almost 6 months now

 I really love it. tho i am a temp and my place her is not certain

I dont want to leave. Its so nice to finally be working and making my own money i dont

know what i would do if i got laid of.. this being my first job in about 2 years

i now realize it was hell being home all day long.. even tho i miss spending my

days with my little love Zane Anthony.

but now he is growing a bond with his father that is Great!

he is certainly becoming a daddys boy. im not going to lie

 im a little jealous..

in a little less then 5 months my baby will now be a toddler

the big 2.

yes he has already began the terrible 2 phase.

trying to hit and throw things and yell when he doesnt get his way.

sometimes the looks on his face i cant help but to give in.

he pulls this new little fake crying face where his lips curl down

and his eyes squint downward like he is trying to push out tears.

Awe. i just love my little guy.

some crazy things have happend to me the last couple days that has

brought my spirit down a little but it is what it is. and

i connot let this happen to me everytime something bad happens

i have got to keep my chin up and my pride high

I AM HAPPY

even tho things could be better.

but cant things always be better then what the are?

my hard work will pay off

 THIS I KNOW.

<3

Sweet Weekend.

The weekend was great. got a lot of things done that needed done.. Friday my sister picked me up from work and we kinda went shopping and  got some lunch.. me and trav got the car safety and emissions done FINALLY!! yay! woo that was a big load off! we also gave the car a bath and cleaned it out real good. it looks fresh! we got zane a new carseat a big boy one! he loves it cause it has a cup holder. he is just to funny! Saturday we just relaxed and went grocery shopping.. then we ate some Betos for dinner and watched a movie i think it was like Predator or something weird like that.. Zane loved his cheeese quesodilla. hahah he shared most of it with the dog tho! Sunday was such a great day to it was so Sunny out! we met up with my sister and her lover Eric. her belly is so big and cute! I cannot wait for Baby Kaesen to be here and zane will have a friend finaly! well anyways we all went to the The Wetlands Park and fed the ducks it was fun and Zane loved it! and there was a poor little duck with fishing line wrapped around its beak.. i wanted to call animal control but i didnt know the number.. i felt so bad for the little duck.. after the park we went home zane fell asleep on the way.. but we got home and did some much needed yard work.. got the roses cleaned up and the garden bed ready for planting flowers! im excited for that! well Happy Monday!
Buhh Bye.
oh p.s
Daylight Savings really sucks. boooooo.

all my heart. <3

3-8-11

Snow is here.. again. boo. i hate it so much i just want some warm weather..
this weekend was really bad.. we had some major problems..it was sad.
some people dang.. wel things are lookin up.. we might have found a place..
just a basement apartment but thats not bad for now!! it will be good!
i hope that it works out.. :) i really need to get internet for my computer at home.
 im sick of only getting on at work its annoying hahaha.. well dang.
happy days to you all..
<3 buhhbye.

Keeep on.

I miss Zane alot today..
he is such a monster. i love him so so much tho..
Trav and I went shopping yesterday! It was good to
get out and get some things that we wanted for a change.
I got zane a lot of clothes and some shoes. i got me some outfits
and trav got an outfit and shoes to.. i coulnt find any shoes i like tho.
We have been workin real hard to change things but,
sometimes it feels like we take 2 steps forward and then 4
steps backwards..  I know things will get better if we keep on
keepin on.. Its alreday March and that freaks me out!!!
This year is already passing us by so quickly.
and i hate it!!!!
oh well im excited for warm weather and cannot wait for all
the fun summer stuff that we can do!! 
camping
swimming
bbq's
ice cream man
park walks
sittin in the sun
shorts/tanktops.
green grass pretty flowers
Its going to be a great summer :)
cant wait!!!